How To Start Smoking

Have you quit smoking and want to get started again? Or maybe you’ve never been a smoker, but want to give it a try. Well man, I’ve got some simple steps for you to follow and you’ll be smoking in no time!

Smoking ashtray and matches

Smoke if you got ’em

  1. First things first. You gotta have a bad week with your wife and kids. You know how it is sometimes, everyone’s irritable and no one’s happy with anything anyone else does. One of those weeks.
  2. Go to work and watch one of your coworker buddies almost get his finger chopped off.
  3. In the same day at work, watch a coworker take a nail right into the knee cap. It’ll be graphic and very disturbing.

That should just about do it for you. You’ll be smoking again in no time!

Jokes aside, my buddy with the nail in his kneecap just put me over the edge. It was pretty bad. We all left the building and just sat out back. Smokers or not, everyone took a cigarette.

Too bad for me, the addiction thing picked back up. I’ll go on Chantix again and that should do it, just like last time!


Comments

How To Start Smoking — 7 Comments

  1. Once I knelt down onto a nail and had to go to the E.R., but only for a tetanus shot; no kneecap breakage for me (THANKFULLY.) That was around the same time I stepped on a paint tray and it flipped up and splattered white paint all up the back of my jeans AND navy blue hooded sweatshirt. Does this sound like a bunch of amateurs redoing their kitchen? It was, back when I was in about middle school.

    I feel your pain on the smoking. I don’t smoke or drink (in a problematic way) but I have a number of behaviors that seem to be compulsive that I feel unable to control. And the husband is right now at the doctor discussing weight loss medication. It was the doctor’s suggestion, not his, since he is one of these people (God’s honest truth, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes) who can eat half of what I do and nothing budges from his 230-lb. frame, exercise and all. I wish you luck; please wish my husband luck for something safe that will actually take some pounds off.
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    • I have to follow up on my own post. They gave him Wellbutrin (bupropion) which might be a little like Chantix, I don’t know. (It’s also called Zyban, which people use to stop smoking. He doesn’t smoke but has to lose weight. Smoking; overeating; same sort of thing.) He took it once before and spent all night staring at the ceiling with eyes wide like saucers. We’ll see. :o)
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  2. Damn, sounds like a pretty intense week! I smoked for way too many years and tried quitting a few times. I finally did it for good about nine years ago. The nicotine patch worked well for me, and some basic behavior modification. Good luck on your next attempt. I hear it is not unusual to quit a few times before you never go back.

  3. So did you take him to the ER? Call 911? Give him an aspirin and send him home for half a day? What became of the poor guy?

    Holy mackerel, that’s the kind of week that would send me straight to the bourbon bottle. Awful!!!

  4. This post is very interesting indeed. I’ve read most times about how to quite smoking but never read any where how to start smoking. Pretty convincing details presented upon such topic and such ways are very effective all the way to start anyone smoking. Thanks.
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