My neighbor and I don’t get along. He’s this young guy who moved back in with his parents, lives in their basement, and has no job. The only thing I know of that he does during the day is bother me and my family.
Once he called the cops because he didn’t like where I was grilling.
Once he called the cops because I was building an addition onto my garage and he thought it was too noisy (and wanted to get me in permit trouble). I’m not dumb, I had a permit.
He called the cops once because he thought that I planted some bushes on their property. (I didn’t)
After they built a fence, he called the cops because he thought I had put some gravel (that was on my side of the fence) too close to the fence. Apparently, you can’t do anything within 6 inches of someone’s fence.
His father fixes lawn mowers for part of their income and I gave them my mower once because it was busted and I didn’t have time to figure out the problem. After 3 weeks of not getting my mower back I went over there and the father wouldn’t deal with me, I had to talk with the son. I asked when it would be ready and he said it would take longer. Another week goes by and I ask again. The son says it’ll take longer and take more money. I told him to give me back the mower then. He called the cops for harassment. Ridiculous, right?
I think you get the picture here. The cops are sick of coming out for this guy. And in most of the cases, it’s not even the cops that come out, it’s the village ordinance lady. I know her now and she’s sick of coming out for this guy.
Just last week my daughter (fake name: Pocahontas) was playing basketball in our driveway. Pocahontas missed the basket once, the ball winged off the rim, and flew into my neighbor’s yard. And that guy came out and yelled at the top of his lungs at my daughter. Oh man, I almost lost my sh*t.
He might not like me for whatever reason, but don’t F with my kids dude.
Am I innocent in all this? Welllll…. mostly. I mostly ignore him and mostly let his dumb stuff just roll off my back.
Except about a year ago. He pissed me off so bad that I just had to get some revenge. I posted an ad on Craig’s List for him. It said something like, “I’m a whiney little baby and live in my parents basement. I need to move out because they don’t want me anymore. I need help moving out. I’ll pay anyone $500 who comes and helps.”
Well, that’s a lot of money. So a lot of dudes showed up at his doorstep that day. He was absolutely fuming and I know it’s not cool, but I felt so freaking satisfied.
And I can admit to this scheme because, as always, he called the cops. And unlike other times, I got in trouble. Big trouble. All the legal fallout is over now, but boy did that feel good to do at the time.
But for a real, actual solution to my neighbor problem? I don’t know what to do. ??
Photo credit: Devil