Blue Collar Halloween Tips

Cold Beer PumpkinHalloween is almost here — will you celebrate it the awesome-ist way possible? To make your Halloween as radical today as it was when you were a kid, follow these blue collar Halloween tips (don’t have kids? It’s cool, I’ve got some tips in there for you, too):

  1. Don’t force your kid(s) to stop trick-or-treating the moment it gets dark out. That’s when it’s the most fun, remember when you were a kid? I know it doesn’t seem safe, but c’mon.
  2. Don’t make your kids keep the health food that some people hand out. In fact, encourage them to throw apples, carrots, granola bars, or any other “healthy option” back at the giver. It’s called trick or treating. A carrot is no treat. So they should expect a trick.
  3. Don’t follow your kid(s) around like a jail warden. When they’re little, like my youngest, they need some help getting around the neighborhood, sure. But when they get a little older, like my 5th grade daughter, they can find their own way around. Let them be with their friends and have fun!
  4. Don’t take your kids’ candy away so that they only eat a little every day. It’s Halloween. They should have all their candy and freaking enjoy it. If they get a stomach-ache, then that’s a great lesson they’ll have learned about cause and effect.
  5. Do make your own costumes. What’s more fun than imagining what the kind of troll, zombie, or princess, in the case of my daughters, that you want to be? Imagine it and start finding things around the house to put it together!Happy Halloween
  6. Do tell your kids what time to be home — and it better be after dark!
  7. Do encourage your kids to scare/startle younger trick or treaters at will.
  8. Do tell your kids to not get in a car with anyone. Or go into any homes. Or go into any garages.
  9. Do put gummy worms in your kids’ beds when they’re gone trick or treating so that they get freaked out when they get in their bed that night.
  10. If you don’t have kids, make sure you have awesome candy or your house might get TP’ed.
  11. If you don’t have kids and you’re not going to be home, then leave a bowl of candy out so that the first trick or treaters can take it all and be proud of their loot.
  12. If you don’t have kids and hate kids, then make sure you go to an awesome party in an awesome costume that you made.

First photo credit and second photo credit.


Blue Collar Halloween Tips — 16 Comments

  1. These are great. I don’t think anyone’s going to lambaste you for being an awful person like I was lambasted for – I was like “oh yeah, the badder, the better.” LOL

    But my oldest read these and he said, “I’ve done that [point 4] several years, so I don’t know how much good it does” (hasn’t learned a lesson yet, obviously. ha ha)

    The whole family was laughing at the whole list – especially point 9. Good one!
    444 recently posted..Halloween plans all ready to goMy Profile

    • #4 helped me learn consequences as a kid (and today) but it doesn’t mean I didn’t always eat too much candy anyway. :-)

      Glad you enjoyed the post and got a laugh! For #11, I remember as a kid once walking up to a house where it was dark and the people weren’t home. There was the usual bowl of candy out on the front porch, on the lap of a scarecrow. I walk up and grab a couple handfuls, and right as my sister was about to grab some, the scarecrow came alive and yelled “boo!” I swear I screamed like a little girl. My sister also screamed like a little girl. :-) Great trick to play on the trick or treaters who would take all the candy from the bowls people leave out!

    • It is an awesome pumpkin, but no, we didn’t carve it, I found it on the web and thought it was cool. Our pumpkins are the more normal kind. :-)

  2. Your list sounds a lot like my childhood. Sadly, the media has made it so parent won’t let their children more than five feet away from them.
    And my niece has to leave candy under her pillow of the “candy” fairy. She gets a present from this fairy I guess.
    It’s one day I agree that you need to let them have fun. Sadly it looks like there won’t be much trick or treating with Sandy about.
    justin@thefrugalpath recently posted..Three Things I am Glad That My Parents Taught Me About MoneyMy Profile

      • Here comes me, the buzzkill: I understand all your points, but last night I trailed along behind one of my kids and his two friends (who were both girls, age 14.) I was the dorky parent with coffee, on the phone, yards behind them but checking up on them in general. I won’t even mention the way they walked in the middle of the street toward oncoming traffic, but here’s the thing: I followed when they entered a completely dark school/park ground to “shortcut” and the only thing to be seen was some creepy guys around the back under the dim light of the school building where the athletic fields and dumpster, etc. are. I had to stop them and explain that you don’t take shortcuts through areas so vast no one would hear you or help you, and asked, “Do you see that weird guy way over there?” They looked at me like I was from Mars. I ushered them quickly toward the front of the property near the streetside (we were trying to get there before one guy waiting for his drug pickup or WHATEVER got there, he was ambling along the side of the building); I’m pretty glad I was there. Their parents just had some vague idea they had left the house but had no idea where they were. By the way, this is not a bad neighborhood. Creeps find places to do business in any neighborhood. Some parents need to tell their kids to stay in the lit, occupied neighborhoods where everyone else is t-or-t-ing.
        444 recently posted..Halloween plans all ready to goMy Profile

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