Are Fake Shutters Worth The Money?

I was asked to do a job on Tuesday that involved putting new shutters on this woman’s house. On 2 of her windows, the shutters were old and falling off.

Fake shutters

Fake shutters

I did the job like a good little blue collar dude, but folks, it annoyed me the whole time. The shutters that she bought and paid to have replaced are fake. She replaced fake shutters with more fake shutters. It’s like how hubcaps have no purpose but for looks — fake shutters also have no purpose but for looks, and that just bothers me. It’s a waste of money.

So what are fake shutters?

They’re plastic and they’re around peoples’ windows, but they’re immovable. Permanently stuck to the house. They do nothing but “look nice.”

Real shutters, on the other hand, are the kind that you can actually open and close.

And guess what, dudes? They have purpose! Hurricanes, tornadoes, big storms — real shutters protect your windows. And on those cold, winter days when you can feel a draft coming in from every crevice of your house? If you close your real shutters, they help make that draft not so bad.

No shutters

No shutters

Now I know that for some people, you buy a house and fake shutters are already there. Seems dumb to pay to remove them, since they don’t do anything anyway. But I suggest that if those fake shutters are starting to fall apart, that you replace them with real shutters. Real shutters “look nice” too, and they serve the purpose of protecting your windows and stopping drafts!

Keep it real. Get real shutters.


Comments

Are Fake Shutters Worth The Money? — 13 Comments

  1. We’re in the boat with the people that bought a house with fake shutters! Oh and there was also a FAKE bird feeder…in the soffit!!! WHY?!?!?! That’s been removed, but the fake shutters remain. I promise you, TB….I will listen to you when the time comes.
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    • lol, excellent. Yeah I figured a lot of people probably had fake shutters because it’s what was there when they got the place. The fake bird feeder, well, I can figure that one. People are nuts!

    • You know exactly what I”m talking about, man! I could be doing something so much more useful for someone instead of putting up something fake!

  2. Ha I used to live in a neighborhood that was probably plastered to death with fake shutters. You’d probably run away screaming. I suppose I never really thought about them being fake, but I knew a lot less about houses then too.

    I will say I think fake ones look better than none at all on some houses when the windows are small like in your pics.
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  4. It’s a little sad when someone has a house built with vinyl siding, no window frames, basically a plastic box with holes in it, then adds on plastic “shutters” that don’t move or even fit the windows, in hopes of giving a fake house that “traditional look”. I’m not a one to get worked up over a good fake (most houses built in the last 200 years have some element of fakeness), but I don’t want my intelligence insulted by obviously implausible “historic touches”. The most frustrating sight is of houses in Florida with fake plastic shutters that do nothing surrounding a window covered up with screw-on (or roll-down) corrugated storm shutters. Didn’t anyone think to simply buy storm-grade hinged shutter? It would have been less clutter, less work and probably less money.

  5. Plastic shutters are not only useless, they cause problems. If installed with screws on wooden siding, they must be removed and remounted each time the house is painted; consequently, clapboards start looking like swiss cheese. Since plastic shutters have hollow backsides, they become habitats for wasps and other creepy-crawlers. And although advertised as maintenance-free, plastic shutters fade in the sun — for example, black becomes sickly gray. Don’t bother trying to paint them, however, because nothing sticks to exterior plastic for very long. In violent winds, fake plastic shutters may rip loose and fly away.

    People assume shutters are necessary to give appeal to a house; if shutters are real (made of wood and mounted on hinges), that argument might have some validity in certain cases. But fake plastic shutters only cheapen it. Frankly, they are in poor taste, so it’s better to go without. Painting a house in attractive colors (coordinated to the color of the roof shingles) is what really makes a house attractive, without the expense and aggravation of vestigial architectural kitsch.

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